First Coffee Thoughts November 24 2024

Opinions and Judgment

About FCT

First Coffee Thoughts (previously under “Musings” and “CoSo”) are blog versions of my #FirstCoffeeThoughts multi-thread posts on CounterSocial. These are here for posterity and also to make them easier for people to read at a later time should they wish to.

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Opinions are always valid … even when they are based on whims, irrationality, nonsense, lies … they are personal – very personal – and everyone is entitled to have them; yes, even if you don’t agree with them.

It is fully within a person’s rights to be allowed to have and express their thoughts in the form of opinions. It does not have to be your business … and you do not have to make your goal in life to have an opinion on everyone else’s opinions.

When someone has an opinion that you don’t like, you judge them and that is ok too. In fact, it’s a smart thing to do for several reasons.

The problem is that most people don’t know what words mean and instead they have a Preferred Connotation for words instead of actual definitions.

What is a judgment?

Judgments are personal too but the difference is they are based on evidence. Judgments are based on reason and fact-based evidence, not just on whimsy and simply “because”.

Can judgments be wrong?

If they aren’t applied with fact-based evidence, reason, and humility then yes, they can be wrong and they basically become simply opinions.

Here is the problem though … (and one of the many reasons I don’t like “fans” of things) when you get a bunch of narrow-minded people together in one space and they all share the same limited opinions, they get into feedback loops and group-think and begin to accept their opinions AS TRUTH because of their shared reality.

The group takes this truth based on their shared reality of opinions and uses those “facts” to then “judge” other people.

Their judgement is false because the “facts” that they have based their evidence on are also false and are based on an entirely incorrect reality of information that they have cultivated themselves and within their own illogical and dysregulated worldview.

You know how that ends up working out … just look at social media and then look at the state world.

OPINION – early 14c., opinioun, “a judgment formed or a conclusion reached, 𝙚𝙨𝙥𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙤𝙣𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙙 𝙤𝙣 𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙙𝙤𝙚𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙙𝙪𝙘𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬𝙡𝙚𝙙𝙜𝙚 𝙤𝙧 𝙘𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙮,” from Old French opinion “opinion, view, judgements 𝙛𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙙 𝙪𝙥𝙤𝙣 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙞𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙨” (12c.), from Latin opinionem (nominative opinio) “opinion, 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙟𝙚𝙘𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚, 𝙛𝙖𝙣𝙘𝙮, belief”

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Taking someone’s opinion as fact means you lack critical thinking skills and a sense of self and the capacity to think on your own.

Opinions aren’t fact, they’re fancy.

𝘖𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘮 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘴, 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦𝘴, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘷𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥, 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘯. 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘣𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘷𝘪𝘦𝘸 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥.

𝘖𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘪𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦.

𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘯 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘴. 𝘌𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘺. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘵; 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥.

𝘑𝘶𝘥𝘨𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘯𝘰 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘤𝘶𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯. 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘤𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘵𝘩 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘵. 𝘑𝘶𝘥𝘨𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘧𝘴. – Nadia Renata

What I learned as I grew more mature in my thinking and understanding of my place in the world was that it wasn’t my business to have an opinion on everything.

It wasn’t my business to center myself in other people’s lives (or feeds) and express my thoughts and opinion about what I read or saw.

People’s lives aren’t about me or my own life. People will do whatever they want regardless of what people outside of their reality tell them.

It’s a waste of energy and it’s selfish AF.

I learned to ask myself A LOT of questions about my own thinking process:

Why am I expressing this opinion? What is this expression about? Is it about me? Is it about someone else? Is it productive? What is the end goal of me thinking and feeling this way? Where does this thought or feeling come from and is that place a positive place, a negative place, a logical place? Why do I feel like I need to express this? Am I trying to influence someone? If so to what end? Who am I to even do that?

The more you question and analyze yourself, the more you come to understand how insanely selfish most of your actions are and how they also wander dangerously into illogical places.

When you question yourself and who you are and why you’re doing what you’re doing, you start to see yourself differently and maybe might even become frightened, critical, and disgusted with what you see in yourself.

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That’s a good thing.

Seeing yourself honestly is how you begin to change for the better.

I have a lot of value judgments (𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙨𝙨𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖𝙨 𝙜𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙤𝙧 𝙗𝙖𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙢𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙤𝙣𝙚’𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙖𝙧𝙙𝙨 𝙤𝙧 𝙥𝙧𝙞𝙤𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙨) and opinions about things that are based on evidence from my individual lived experience … things I have weighed and determined how I feel based on those experiences.

When I have evidence to the contrary, I am always willing to rethink my judgments, especially when enough solid evidence presents itself to make me consider I may be wrong in my feelings and opinions.

I also make a lot of judgments based on the wild opinions people express because the things they believe on a whim, on their dysregulated emotions, and without needing evidence tell me exactly who they are and whether I want them in my life.

Opinions can change at anytime, they lack foundation, and can be shifted if new evidence presents itself or the person simply decides to regulate one day.

That kind of flippancy concerns me a great deal. The lack of conviction also tells me a lot.

There is nothing wrong with having an opinion but I would wonder why you feel it’s normal for you to double down on something that is based on nonsense reasoning, lack of facts, lack of care for any facts, pure dysregulated emotions, something strangers say, or simply because that’s how you are feeling that day or in that moment.

What does that say about you as a person that you can so easily make something a part of you that is based on fancy and lack of reason.

That is a huge red flag.

Passing judgment on someone based on your personal beliefs, morals, and positions is not inherently a bad thing especially when it comes to having to protect yourself from dangerous people and having to make decisions about the kind of energy you want in your life.

Make sure your decisions are INFORMED. Make sure your decisions are based on fact-based EVIDENCE. Make sure your decisions are based on REASON and LOGIC and not emotions.

Render judgments with reason, evidence, and humility.

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