Thread About Disordered Eating

I have alarms set every two hours to remind myself to eat something. They can be heard in every room by my tribemates who are very supportive and help to keep me on track. I struggled with anorexia for many years and the lingering associated negative feelings about food still linger. I wrecked my metabolism pretty badly and coupled with my struggles with PCOS which I’ve talked about here before, I have to make sure I at least graze on something to keep things working well.

I had a wonderful endocrinologist who spoke to me in such a great way and asked me what kinds of words around eating triggered me so that we could talk about what I needed to do to stay healthy. No other doctor ever spoke to me in such a way … they only pushed me to eat and made me feel bad about not eating and constantly talked about my weight and food in these ways that only made me less likely to learn better habits. I still (sometimes) need gentle reminders from my tribemates.

I mention this because I’m sitting outside writing and my lunch alarm went off and I ignored it because I’m simply never hungry and rarely thinking about food … something most people don’t believe when they look at me. My tribemate came out of his room, walked across the apartment, came outside and just tapped me on the shoulder and said … I didn’t hear you in the kitchen, so I just wanted to see if it was ok to bring you a little something?

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It was just enough to motivate me to get up and go make myself something to eat which … sometimes the process of just turns me off if I’m not thinking in the healthiest mindset. Making a meal, even a sandwich, is a multi step process and at each step there is this reminder of food and eating and weight and disgust. So quick meals or meal replacement shakes or bars are great for people like me because it eliminates all the steps that are most likely to deter or trigger us.

Just a little something to think about when you see things like that … everyone has different needs and difficulties and health considerations. So something may not be for you or something you’re interested in but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t serve an important function for someone else.


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