Over the years I have gained a deeper understanding and resolution to this idea that people are so drastically different in how they view the world based on their lived experiences especially culturally. That is not to say that it’s impossible to understand people who come from different backgrounds, cultures, economic situations, or religious foundations etc but sometimes those gaps are way too wide to cross. Some experiences just can’t be shared or explained to others who are outside of them.
White people will try but never truly understand the Black experience. Poor people will never truly understand the wealthy experience. The wealthy will absolutely never understand the poor experience. Over educated people will never understand the struggles of the generally educated etc … everyone is trapped in their own viewpoints and deep seeded understanding of the world they manifested themselves in. Understanding only goes so far. Ones lived experience simply isn’t transferable.
Does that mean there is no point in trying to understand one another? Of course not. It just means that for many people it’s impossible to view the world in a way that isn’t solely based on a viewpoint influenced by your own lived experiences and cultural identity. You cannot see the world as a Black person sees it if you are not Black. I don’t care how much empathy and education you claim to have. It’s impossible.
You can only learn about and bear witness to other people’s worlds. And learning about and bearing witness to those worlds doesn’t make you an expert on them and doesn’t really give you the authority to speak on them or judge them. All it does is give you passive access to someone else’s experience … and that isn’t enough to begin a truly deep understanding. It can make you more aware, more humble, more empathetic, and maybe more open to the idea of things outside of yourself … but true understanding is impossible.
No one can truly understand someone else … not completely. All you can do is recognize those differences and know that they exist and understand how those differences shape people’s interactions with one another. All you can do is anticipate those differences and reactions. Being able to do that is how you can navigate situations where those differences can lead to problems or misunderstandings.
I judge people harshly not on their lack of ability to understand me … but more on their lack of awareness that they can never truly … and how that ignorance and privilege shapes how they respond to me or categorize me for their own comfort.
If you can’t see the world outside of your own lens, then what are you truly looking at all the time? Just yourself. A world seen only through your own eyes and your own transference is a very small world indeed but that is our own limitation that we need to realize.
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