Anger Is Viral

In my youth I met a lot of angry people – high school, college, and well into my 30s. It was like any person I met was just really angry about a variety of things and it was usually family or work or themselves. Never anything else. It wasn’t the world or anything like that. It was other people or themselves but especially family. It became very exhausting for me trying to be in friendships or relationships with people who chose anger over peace … it wasn’t healthy.

These same people would ask me how I could have evolved into someone who wasn’t angry all the time and I would explain and they’d just laugh and not take it seriously which was fine but I really couldn’t see myself continuing in any kind of relationship with anyone who essentially was addicted to negativity.

There is no room for anything in such people’s lives and you will never be anything other than an outlet for their anger, mental dysfunction, and emotional dysregulation.

There is a significant difference between people who need support and people who need outlets.

Anger is an addictive emotion and people who thrive on it are absolutely addicts. They stay in the emotion, look for things to perpetuate the emotion, and – the worst part – they believe it’s a positive emotion.

Addicts think that anger is something good, something that makes them stronger, something that helps them feel fearless. They think it bolsters them instead of weakening them.

Being angry at other people, or even yourself, is one of those situations where you have to wonder what the point of it is and what it’s doing for/to you.

Being angry at outside things that you have absolutely no control over and no ability to influence or change is similar where you have to wonder what the point of that is and what it’s doing for/to you.

Anger and stress are the fastest way to destroy your health not just mentally but physically. They are the number one killers.

One of the primary reasons I call angry people addicts is because anger is such a self destructive emotion that – not slowly – eats away at the body and mind and causes permanent damage and it still doesn’t make people think that they need to make a change to any lifestyle that perpetuates things that are going to push them to an early grave. They choose it over peace, they hold onto pain over finding healing. They would rather choose those things over their own health.

That’s addiction.

The other thing about perpetually angry people, they suck the life and energy out of others in order to sustain themselves and their addiction to negativity and pain.

They use people to continue to feel angry or to replenish their need for anger. Picking fights, creating arguments, or just siphoning bits and pieces off of others to get their little fixes of confrontation.

They’re dangerous people who only care about themselves and getting what they need for mock strength. They are toxic.

Being angry about unchangeable situations means you’re also unwilling to change and that is very telling.

You can’t change other people and you can’t change the world but you can change yourself … but most people don’t want to. It’s not even a “can’t” situation, it’s a “won’t” situation because they’re too addicted to how anger and negativity makes them feel.

Self destructive people can never be in healthy relationships with others considering what they willingly do to themselves.

𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘺 𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 . . . 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦, 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵, 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵, 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘩𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘺, 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘷𝘦 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘪𝘭, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘣𝘢𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘵, 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘶𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦. – Epictetus

𝘚𝘶𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘻𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘣𝘺 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘮, 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘭𝘺, 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘪𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧! 𝘐𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭 𝘳𝘦𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘵 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘧 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘩, 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘺 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘢𝘮𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘯𝘦, 𝘥𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘰𝘵, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘯, 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳, 𝘴𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘳 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘱𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘧𝘶𝘭, 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘣𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘧𝘳𝘦𝘦? – Seneca

… 𝘸𝘦 𝘢𝘥𝘰𝘱𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘢𝘣𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴, 𝘢𝘯𝘥, 𝘢𝘴 𝘤𝘦𝘳𝘵𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘪𝘭𝘺 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘵, 𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦 𝘱𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘪𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘶𝘦𝘴, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘦𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵, 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘦𝘳𝘵 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩; 𝘯𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘵𝘩𝘺 𝘤𝘭𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘢𝘴 𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘰𝘤𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘵𝘴 𝘢 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘨𝘵𝘩. – Seneca

𝘈𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘳𝘬 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘦, 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘧𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭, 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘨𝘭𝘰𝘣𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺. 𝘐𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘮 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘧𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘺, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘷𝘪𝘳𝘶𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳. – Jason Whiting, PhD.

Anger is viral and self-perpetuating and people who house it within themselves, spread it to others, and aid in it continuing to destroy lives are willingly and knowingly bringing ruin to the world on a regular basis.

Do better. Be better.