#FirstCoffeeThoughts
Something I often say is “𝙒𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨” and I have been saying some variation of this since I was a pre-teen.
When I first started transcribing my childhood journals into the computer, I was a freshman in college and as I was typing all this stuff up I found some amazing things that I’d long forgotten about it including something I’d written about adults …
𝘕𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘴𝘢𝘺, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘪𝘵. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘺 𝘦𝘹𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦.
I can’t remember what I was trying to explain at the time, but I did have different versions of this concept in relation to many other people including my peers and myself.
It seemed I was working through the idea that change for most people is impossible when they resolve themselves to being a limited version of themselves; a predefined version of who they believe themselves to be or, in the case of my parents, who they worked hard to make themselves out of desperation or little choice.
I think people get into their heads that who they are is kind of set in stone and nothing could be further from the truth.
We are, ideally, always evolving and changing as we learn new information about ourselves and the world around us.
We are adapting and learning new things about people as well as ourselves as we age, as we embark on journeys of self-discovery, and especially as life happens.
Hopefully there comes a point in all that learning where your character begins to form.
When I say “we can only ever be ourselves” at this point in my life, I’m talking primarily about 𝙘𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙘𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙚𝙧.
I wrote in the original Change Is Hard AF essay that “𝙘𝙡𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙩𝙮 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙗𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙧𝙪𝙩𝙝 𝙤𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙙𝙧𝙞𝙫𝙚𝙨 𝙥𝙚𝙤𝙥𝙡𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙙” and I think for those reasons, people are reluctant to evolve and test their character as they move through life. They decide on one path – usually the easiest and least resistant – and stay there.
Change happens internally and no one can shatter someone else’s reality from the outside.
In my experience people do not change themselves (or their paths) voluntarily, they only do when they absolutely have no choice.
If there is no reason for someone to change, they simply don’t.
They move through life being how they have always been until something hinders their progress and forces them to change something about themselves that they have never thought about or bothered addressing before.
For many people that never happens at all … for some it happens often and they shift and bend and adapt accordingly, even wrongly, depending on how many people they allow to be their Masters.
People can only ever be what their core character dictates … until evolution occurs.
But core character isn’t a solidification of ones philosophy for most people.
In fact, for many, character is simply who they have decided to be in the moment or the sum of their life experiences and not something they have spent a considerable amount of time figuring out, sorting through, and deciding upon for themselves.
Many people have no character at all and are completely empty and devoid of a foundational thought about anything regarding themselves or others.
Your foundation should be solid, but your ability to take in new information, to examine and reexamine choices should always be flexible; ready to evolve and build UP from what you have solidified as your core.
“𝙒𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙮 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙗𝙚 𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙫𝙚𝙨” becomes then the idea that people can only ever be what their core character dictates … until evolution occurs.
Your foundation should be strong enough to handle additional levels towards ascension.
Your only limitation is how open you are to change.
I have said before, and in my “Change Is Hard AF” essay, that I believe the leading issue that keeps people from being able to change is LAZINESS.
The REAL definition of laziness … not what the word has come to mean in the white supremacist, colonizer, capitalist dictionary where it’s weaponized to groom people into working themselves to death.
Laziness is a direct response to OPPRESSION.
When you consider that many are brainwashed by oppressors of ALL TYPES from birth, then laziness makes sense.
When it comes to people who really need to change, I think it’s a lack of will, lack of desire, lack of tools, and also laziness; AVERSION to working under relentless oppressive circumstances.
The reality of people’s lives is already ENOUGH; already HARD. The effort simply isn’t possible for people who are already held down, held under, under appreciated and under valued.
What good is change under UNCHANGING circumstances in your life? What is the point of adding struggle to more struggle in hopes that you’ll be better when nothing else in your life would be?
Laziness in response to oppression absolutely will keep people trapped in the same place because there is no reason for forward movement in MIND or BODY when the path they are on is already burying them.
Change requires one person to do 1000% the work and that person is already exhausted.
The reality of people’s lives is already ENOUGH; already HARD. The effort simply isn’t possible for people who are already held down, held under, under appreciated and under valued.
Convincing someone who is oppressed 24/7 that changing themselves is actually going to result in them not only OPENING UP more paths but also being more resilient and resistant to a path they are already on … is pretty much an uphill and impossible battle.
You are asking someone to see several miles ahead towards a possibility (logical or not) when they can barely see a few steps ahead in their daily life.
Those in charge of oppressing you, don’t want you to think, let alone change.
That is why I don’t have much faith in people being able to actually change.
Not because there is something inherently wrong with people … but there is something DEEPLY wrong with the values and systems that control, herd, oppress, and brainwash us from birth.
Those systems keep us trapped on paths that ONLY SERVE OTHERS and we’re groomed to believe that SERVING OURSELVES is selfish and wrong.
We are punished for evolving and rewarded for conforming.
It’s not you. It’s the world.
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